Day 10: Late Entry June 13, 1861

Well I think its safe to say that this is a very late entry post because i've been trying to help make Pappa feel better and get well. I hate seein him like this, he is miserable! I haven't had much time to sit down and write about whats been going on. We got a letter yesterday....it was from the camp. It was about Philip, they said he died of food poisoning and because of him we need to donate better food.....Momma said thats ridiculous and they need the government to fullfil their needs. Which I agree with. I just wish they could come home already! I miss them so much and Pappa said the war just started. I hope it dont last long, they need to come home. The tobacco fields are gone...because the slaves have not been tending to it...our crops died. Pappa said that really hurt us and we are surviving on very little right now. Momma has to go up to town to get bread and such...its just enough to survive.

Hopefully Pappa will get better soon, I want back to his well beings! All healthy and touch like he usually is. School soon....I have to wait for AnnaMae because we go to school together now. I still cant go out to the cow pastures...Momma said its too dangerous. I wish everything could go back to the way it was!!

~Beth

Day 9: Will Anything Be the Same? June 4, 1861

The cow fields are starting to look dull, the grass is dying and our cows have been staying in the shade because of how hot it gets down here. Its almost time to finish picking the tobacco, and sell them for more money. I always use to go down there and play around on the plantation with my brothers. Will anything be the same with a brother missing? Will everything be alright when this war has ended? Where will that put the economy? Momma told me that if the North wins the War we are going to loose all our slaves. I cant have Alice leave! I love her, shes a second mother to me and I couldnt imagine my life going on with out her. We need our slaves to help work our plantation, we are good slave owners they have a lot of freedom than any other slaves and I dont understand why they want to run away. I dont like change, especially this type of change that could turn my life upside down.

Found out Poppa has the flu, I hope he gets better soon. I have been learnin' how to take care of sick people. Momma says I have a sensitive touch and I should help out by being a nurse or somethin like that. I have learned the special mixtures of herbs and tea, and we dont want to call a doctor in less something gets worse. I am trying to make sure Poppa can pull through, I cant loose anyone else!

Day 8: Why Must Things Come To This? May 31, 1861

Life has been miserable, all I can think about are my brothers and how much danger they are in and how much I want them home! I cant believe Philip is gone and I havent seen any of my brothers in 26 days! I want them home! No letters have come to tell us what exactly happened to Philip. He was only 17 and he's gone. Momma and Poppa dont know how we are going to barry him, but he may be put into ashes which is called cremated. This war needs to stop!! the North needs to calm down and realize what they are doing to this country. They are ruining our economy, the United States doesnt need to go to war anymore! There are many problems in this world, and this doesnt need to be added to it. This war is hurting so many families, including mine and President Lincoln needs to do something and come up with a solution instead of war. Everything is going to get worse before it gets better, thats always what Poppa says.

~Beth

Day 7: A Soldier Came to the Door May 27, 1861

Today is a terrible day! I dont know what happened and everything just seems to go wrong, Momma wont tell me the whole story and I need to know!! I saw a very tall guy, he had freckles, brown hair, blue eyes and he was in uniform. I hid behind Momma when she answered the door, from words to words he said " I'm very sorry Ma'm" and he handed a letter to her. Momma opened up the letter, and wouldnt let me read it, her eyes started to fill with tears. What did this mean? Poppa came in to comfort her, he started to cry to. I couldnt decide if I wanted to cry to, or to stay strong..... A couple minutes later Momma put the letter down, I took it so swiftly and I read it. The letter said:

Dear Mr and Mrs St. James,

We are to currently tell you that your son Philip St. James has recently passed away. After a couple of days of eating bad food, we assumed he had food poisoning and he would be alright after a couple of days out of soldier training. We went into his tent and found him dead, his body was sent to a doctors to investigate as much as we can. We honestly thought it was food poisoning, but now we know it may have been something more. We will get back to you as soon as we find more information.

Thank You For Your Time

Civil War Training Camp

I didnt want to believe this letter one bit! Its not true, this cant be true! I can not lose Philip! I love him, no this can't be happening. I knew the one minute they took him something bad would happen! So many things are running through my head! I can't stand it, Philip gone? This is a joke. Now only 3 coming home, I cant stand this!

~Beth

Day 6: Another Letter! May 22, 1861

Another letter came today....there was a different adress and Momma told me to open it because it was adressed to me. It was from Nelson! I wonder why there was a different adress but I guess that is not important at the moment. The letter said:

Dear Family,

Soldier training has been gettin intense, gun powder was set on fire the other day. You probably heard a boom or felt a vibration. Sorry for the different address, they told us the North can not find us and that we MUST keep moving. Philip is currently sick, we think its just food poisoning and he'll be alright. We sure do miss youre home cookin Ma, this food is terrible, but we are surivin as best as we can. Tell Pa hello from all of us and we miss you all. We heard that they took some of our slaves! That ain't fair anymore, we need our slaves to help run our plantation, we will fight this war until it is over! Our first battle that we will fight is the Battle of Bull Run, we dont know why its called that but wish us luck. Love you all

~Nelson, Philip, Owen, and Arthur

I was relieved to hear that they are doing alright, I started a box that will keep all their letters! I hope they come home soon, I miss them!

~Beth

Day 5: What happened? May 20, 1861

After I ran out of the house, Alice found me in tears....she wouldnt tell me where Momma and Poppa were and she took me right back into the house. Alice told me that some gun powder was set off by accident from a careless soldier. I was relieved that a battle didn't break out or anything because that meant that the boys would have been in that battle and there was a possibility that the soldiers were going to come towards us. Alice also told me that off the shore (which is a couple miles away) there were gun fire on Fort Sumter in Charleston's harbor. This meant war! The north and the south were going to war about the south becoming independent and wanting to keep our slaves. This attack, was the start of the Civil War.

~Beth

Day 5: Startled May 20, 1861

Momma and Poppa were out this morning when I woke up, its Saturday and I dont have to go to school, and because Mamma said I cant go out to the cow pastures I have nothing to do. I suppose I could work on some homework Mrs. Arnold gave us, but I dont feel like it.

The table just shook! There was a huge BOOM! No one is the house! Where is everyone? Momma, Poppa? Where are you?! I'm terrified out of my life, I want my brothers home! I dont know what to do.......except run outside. Find Momma and Poppa!!!

~Beth

Day 4: Which Side? May 13, 1861

Momma started telling me today why we chose to stay in the confederate states, which means that we want our slaves. Momma also said that we are down 17 million people, the north was over ruling us! We can't let them do this to us! my chances of me ever seeing my brothers now are so very slim! Poppa said everythin is gonna be alright, but I dont know if I can take his word. Poppa also said that the Union's greatest assest was President Lincoln, he developed into a great leader everyone says, but he is against slavery. Which doesn't help the south at all! Yet, President Lincoln convinced Northerners that democracy depended on preserving the Union. Momma and Poppa said that hopefully the north would tire of this war and they would give in and let go of this war, and accept our independence. We have one thing that the North needs, which is our cotton.....Momma said its the king crop! It was important in the world market and without that I wouldn't have my purty dress Alice (one of our slaves) made me. We have had to withheld cotton from the market. Poppa said that before I was born and when he was a little boy we went through a war called the Revolutionary War where we won our independence from Britain. Now that we are allies, hopefully they would come and aid us. We are hoping for the best, and so many things are happenin in my home town. Are we going to have to move?

I havent received any letters or anything yet from Nelson and the boys. I really miss them! its been 8 days since I have seen them. I hope they are doin well, hopefully they wont need them and they will send them home. This war is breaking out into chaos!

~Beth

Day 3: A Civil War? May 10, 1861

Mrs. Arnold was tellin us today in school about a war that had started last year! I didn't know this war was goin on this long. I thought it just started, thats why they needed my brothers. Mrs. Arnold told us that the first shot was right her in Charleston!! I had no clue...most likely since I was 10 last year I wasn't as observant. Mrs. Arnold said that Major Robert Anderson and his garrison held on to Fort Sumter....thats only a couple miles away from here! President Lincoln had a choice to make, if he supplied the garrison he would start a war. If he ordered the troops to leave the fort, he would be giving in to the rebels. So Lincoln sent ships to South Carolina, and the Leaders of the Confederacy started to attack before the ships arrived! I told Mrs. Arnold today that I was completely unaware of my surroundings! After all of this information, my mind started to wonder, are we in trouble now? where does that put us? are they taking everything away from us? why weren't my brothers needed then? would they have beeb home by now if they went then? Momma said today that I could only travel back and forth to school with AnnaMae, no more layin in the cow pastures. This is all turning into a dangerous atmosphere. I want my brothers home now that I have realized what is going on!

~Beth

Day 2: A letter from whom? May 7, 1861

Comin home from school today, there was a letter on the table....it was address to me! Momma told me to open it because she was eager to see what was in it. The adress didn't look familiar....maybe it was from the boys! I tore the letter open as fast a horse can run. The letter was from Nelson! It said:

Dear Family,

The boys and I are doing great, we learned after they came and got us that this was soldier training. They needed us for this crazy war that has started called the Civil War, they want to take our slaves away from us. This ain't fair for us, because we need our slaves to work the plantation. Soldier trainin' aint that hard, just very educational. We all thought learning how to work a gun was pretty dang cool! We boys have to get up at 6 a.m now and don't go to bed till' the sun is long gone. We learned that our favorite snack are the goober peas, but of course they aren't as good as Ma's. We all miss you, and miss home! We will be home hopefully soon and we won't have to fight. Love you all!

Nelson, Arthur, Owen, and Philip.

That letter made my whole day, to know that they are all doin alright and they will be home as soon as possible. Momma said I could keep it for keepers sake, but I can't wait to see them when they get home. I miss them.

~Beth

Day 1: Where Did They Go? May 5, 1861

Arthur, Nelson, Philip and Owen all left early this morning. Momma wont tell me where they went and I miss them so much already and its only been a couple of hours. I know something is going on in the North and South of the United States, because I would hear our neighbors tell Momma and Poppa something about a war possibly happening. I think that they may be in training to become soldiers, which worries me deeply because that means they have a chance to be killed. AnnaMae, my best friend, told me that her oldest brother was sent somewhere this morning also! AnnaMae told me that her brother Paul is going to write her a letter everyday until he comes home. I hope one of my brothers will do that, but knowing them Nelson is the only one who can write. The other boys are better off in other subjects, but that isnt important right now.

I have to get to school in a couple, so Momma is tellin' me I have to go eat and head off to school with AnnaMae. Life right now is so lonely! I miss Philip, him and I would always walk up to school together and I would always ride on his shoulders. I am very close to my brothers and I miss them so very much and they need to come home soon, I don't want them in this war. Its too dangerous and I would be so dearly sad if any of them got killed.

Poppa came in a couple minutes ago and said that they are letting some of our slaves free, according to President Lincoln they needed to be trained to be in minute militia, which Lincoln called immediately. Poppa also said that if anything, we are full southern people and we are taking the southerners side, we need our slaves and we approve slavery to run this plantation. There are rumors going around supposedly that the United States is becoming split! I dont know what that means but it doesnt sound good. Momma keeps tellin me I have to put the journal down, I will write back as soon as I hear anything about this "War" starting.

~ Beth