Day 50: Just A Little Longer May 8, 1862

A wait....thats all that is needed. The last hurtful wait, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, month by month. When is the time for the boys to come home? There needs to be a new group of people, but these 3 guys coming home in a month or two are my heros. No one can ever replace them, and I hope when im older I raise boys just like my Momma did. I can stay strong, and when I see them...im gonna run for miles into their arms. I dont ever want to feel this pain again, the pain of worry, sadness, nervous, anxious and so many more. I miss Philip, but he is in a better place. Yet, I know that if he was still alive he would be just as brave as the other boys. It has been a year since the boys have left, for the first time. Didnt know where they were going, didnt know if they were alright. But now I know, now I know that they are ok and they are doing what is best for their country. I love them so much.

Im running out of room from this journal, I have filled up the journal the boys got me for christmas. So for now, I am going to stop writing and count down to the days till they come home. I hope nothing else goes wrong, and they are able to come home as soon as possible. Eric and Rose are gonna come home later, we are gonna go play and Momma said we can go out in the cow fields. I can think, and the rest of the day is going to be great, and to say the crops are doing great. Poppa finally taught me how to plant the tobacco seeds and such, I think its pretty dang cool but I only got to do it this once. In a couple of months Momma and Poppa are gonna send me off to school to be a proper women. That means when the boys come home, I can only see them for a couple of months. Yet, if this war keeps up Momma says she aint gonna send me, I hope I dont have to go I need to stay home.

The page is filling up, so I have to write my conclusion to this head of adventure and torturous journey. I hope for the best in the next couple of days or years. I will put this in the box where I keep all the letters from the boys, and hopefully one day I will pull this out and it will remind me of how thankful I am and how lucky I am.

~Beth

Day 49: Reassurance, and Movement April 25, 1862

Everyone is moving around, people are moving and they are moving all around. The war is becoming bigger and bigger by the second and I am really beginning not to like this, im not loving life right now. The end of the month is coming near and I still havent heard anything, hopefully something will come later. Mr. Jackson came over and told us that New Orleans is having some issues, they have moved down there. 17 Union ships under the command of Flag Officer David Farragut move up the Mississippi River then take New Orleans, the South's greatest seaport. Everything is changing so much, and its been almost a year since I started writing all of this down. I wish the war would end soon, just imagine all the damage that it is causing. Im hoping there will be something good come out of this.

Later in the day I saw Mike! He didnt look too happy, I asked him why. He said that he has a really good friend who volunteered himself to work in the war. Mike said that, his friend was shot with in the first couple of hours of the war. Hour terrible is that! But he is a hero who ever he was and to say he even volunteered! I gave him a hug and I told him things are gonna get better. I can feel it! I went inside and sat at the table....I stared at it and thought to myself....should I open it? Is it good or bad news? Who was I kidding! I tore that envelope open like there was no tomorrow. It was from the boys! My nightmare did not come true, al though they were in the battle. Nelson said it was a tough battle and by the time it was time to move back home, we were beat. Many of the lives in that camp were killed, and my boys were just lucky to not have gotten shot. I knew I have always had faith in them, they are strong young men and they do have common sense. They know when to stay out of the way, I know they were trained right. Im just glad that they are safe.

~Beth

Day 48: Are They Okay? April 15, 1862

Days and days have gone by, I have been waiting so impatiently to receive any news about the boys. So many thoughts are going through my head, are they okay? Did they fight in the battle? Was anyone hurt? Momma is tryin to calm me down, but I dont know why she aint freakn out either like me. Yet, Momma has always been a calm women and kept her thoughts to herself event though she will speak her mind when it comes to it. I need a letter, I need a reassurance to know that they are ok and that I can breathe. Its been days and days! Hour by hour! I need to see someone, A General to bring bad news, or Mike to knows that a letter has arrived. The line has been drawn, I cant stand this tension anymore, I cant stand waiting here any longer to see my brothers. I hope they know that I love them and care about them and that right now my whole world revolves around them.

I dont want to say any more goodbyes.

~Beth

Day 47: A Bloody Battle April 7 1862

Its been a couple of days since I wrote another. News is going around every where and I dont know exactly what its about, but a battle in Shiloh has started. The confederate forces attacked Union forces under General Ulysses S. Grant at Shiloh, Tennessee. By the end of the day, the federal troops were almost defeated. Yet, during the night, reinforcements arrived, and by the next morning the Union commanded the field. When Confederate forces retreated, the exhausted federal forces did not follow. There were many deaths sadly, and there was also a chance that the boys may have fought in this battle. I am really hoping that they arent part of those death lists. I cant afford to loose another brother, I didnt deserve to lose Philip. The battle is still going on today, and I dont know when its gonna end. I hope I hear from the boys soon! I hope they are all right. I hope the Union doesnt win, we need to win to put our voice out there and we need to be heard. Even though I have said that these people dont have common sense anymore, we need our slaves and we need the expansion on slavery. I hope things change for the good.

~Beth

Day 46: Fighting Time? March 20, 1861

Many things have been picking up, ever since Nelson said that they are being moved to Tennessee. That means something is going on, I hope not another battle. Oh no! not another battle....if they're being recruited there then that means.....they will be fighting! Oh no! Oh no! so many thoughts just went through my head. No, that nightmare is gonna come true, not this cant be happening! Im gonna be worried at all times till they come home, ah! Poppa came in this morning and told me that President Lincoln-- impatient with General McClellan's inactivity -- issued an order reorganizing the Army of Virginia and relieving McClellan of supreme command. McClellan was given command of the Army of the Potomac, and ordered to attack Richmond. This marked the beginning of the Peninsular Campaign. General ended up losing his command. There was a little battle, but no one got hurt or anything so everything was ok. I hope everything turns out all right and that President Lincoln replaces him quick.

Day 45: 3 Months March 10, 1862

I finally received a letter from the boys the other day and things to keep taking a turn.

Dear Family,

Sorry we havent written back in a couple of months, the camp has been puttin us back to good conditions and we have just been busy and the boys and I havent been able to sit down and write a letter. Everythin is doing alright, but all the boys agree that they miss home and that they wished the holidays didnt end. We love you Momma and Poppa and we are so glad we were able to come home and see you guys. Some of the Generals say that we can come home permanetly in a couple of months. Most likely sometime in June or July as long as nothing bad goes bad and something comes up. General said that they are gonna go out and collect new people to train and such, weve been here long enough. They are recruiting us out to Tennessee so we will not be able to write for awhile. So that means Beth, do not respond to this because we will not get it. I hope everythin is well back home, its almost time to start the tobacco plantin right? well good luck wish we could help. Hope everythin is doing alright, love you all.

Nelson

It makes me sad that I can not respond back, but its good that I have finally heard from them.

~Beth

Day 44: Almost a Year March 2, 1862

In a couple of months, it will mark a year since they came and recruited my brothers to start their training and a year since I started writing all of this. Hopefully a year will be a enough, and the boys will be home permanently. Lets just hope, I wish I could get a letter its been quite some months since I got one. I really hope everything is ok and that they are doing alright since I havent heard from them. Hopefully Momma will let me respond immediately when I receive the letter and they will get it. The snow is starting to melt away and its almost time to start to turn the soil to prepare the process of the tobacco growing. I hope Poppa will let me help, I am 12 and I am fully am a loud to help out. Since we are short slaves, I think Poppa will let me and plus its good to know in the future just in case in my husband does this stuff. But thats way in the future, we dont have to worry about that right now. Staying positive these days and just keeping my head held up high and I know we will make it.

~Beth

Day 43: Death in the White House February 21, 1862

News seems to travel so fast these days, there are newspapers, telegraph lines and of course people spreading the word around. President Lincoln is struck with death in his family, his eleven year old son has passed away from a fever. Nothing else has really been released about the tragedy, but Willie....rest in peace buddy. I hope they can find out exactly what happened so they can prevent another sickness like that. I think President Lincoln is in shock and and probably devastated. I know the feeling, and its not a good one either. I hope things turn out better in the future and hopefully things will stay calm for awhile, or nothing will happen at all. But thats only in my fantasies.

~Beth

Day 42: Bad News Arrives February 15, 1861

AnnaMae came over this morning, she was in tears. She couldnt talk, she was too upset to talk and I didnt know what else to do other than comfort her. Bad news has arrived for AnnaMae, her brother Peter has been shot accidentally while training, the letter said that a childish kid was playing around and the trigger was shot. He was shot in the arm, thank goodness it wasnt his head or heart. The doctor at the camp said they have taken the bullet out, and hopefully he will make a full recovery. The shock was amazing, I would have never expected anything to happen like that in camp, people are idiots and stupid and dont need to be playin around like that. They said Peter will be in recovery for a couple of weeks till his health is back up and running, if anything is infected they will have to amputate the arm. The guys need to look out better. I just hope the trauma for AnnaMae isnt too much.

~Beth

Day 41: How Important Is This? February 10, 1862

Many days have gone by since the boys left, and it seems to me waiting around is like waiting for a tree to fall down. How important is this anyway? Why cant we settle this the easy way out? Have people talk the situation out. We dont have common sense anymore, why not save the country from what we dont need. We dont need to go to war with ourselves, specially with no aid to back us up. One thing Poppa found out from a neighbor is that General Ulysses S. Grant in Tennessee, capturing Fort Henry, and ten days later Fort Donelson. This was a victory for the Union. Now everything is going into circles, the pages keep on turning. This chapter in my life seems like it will never end, and it needs to. Everything needs to go back to normal, back to the way it was when we could live our daily lives with out interruptions.

~Beth

Day 40: The Union January 31, 1862

Poppa said that things are rumbling in the north and the south, things are gonna break out where we dont want them to! This whole madness is going to get out of hand, and I thought Battle of Bull Run was enough, I thought we would learn our lessons and settle things differently. We cant afford to go to war, but this what it has come down to. Poppa said that President Lincoln issued a war order authorizing the Union to launch a unified aggressive action against the Confederacy, But General McClellan ignored the order. Maybe thats a good thing, cuz that could have been turned into a battle....right? If General listened to that command. Hopefully things will turn out all right, we can only hope for the best.

~Beth

Day 39: A New Place to Ponder January 20, 1862

Momma and I left the house this morning to go get some supplies we needed for the house, the snow is white blanket. Better dress warmly, Momma said we can stop in the bakery and we can stop in the new store they built a couple minutes away from the bakery. We aint sure exactly whats in there, but I hope its worth the time to go and at least check it out, they say its somethin for the soldiers in training. I hope it meant I could do something to help out the boys. Once we walked in there were soldier things everywhere, information on what they have to carry and what they are doing to train for unwanted battles. Man its a lot, I cant believe what they are doing and what they have to carry. Momma put some change into the donation box, hoping that, that money goes to a good cause. Food, clothing, anything because they can get sick in these conditions or even frost bite. I hope everything is ok, winter can be so harsh!

~Beth

Day 38: Nightmare January 10, 1862

I woke up in the middle of the night, I have to write this down its very scary and I hope it doesnt come true. I woke up, tossing and turning in bed. I woke up and lit a candle. The dream was that I was sittin in the snow, and all of a sudden I see many people marching in a row. They were comin towards me, it was soldiers...but soldiers for what? where were they going? All of a sudden as im looking, someone else is coming towards these soldiers, who were they? what do they want? why are they here? I made out faces, Peter....then a couple rows back were my brothers, followed by Tyler. Were they being sent off to war? I believe so, these other people were coming to attack! Right in front of my eyes, people shot down second by second. The row of my brothers came, I screamed! NO NO DONT SHOOT! No one could here me and it was too late. Gone, gone in an instant....they were shot by people in the gray uniforms....can this possibly relate to anything in the war? Is this a real battle and its repeating? Wake up Beth! Wake up! thats all I could hear from my conscience. This better not come true..

~Beth

Day 37: A New Year, A New Start January 2, 1862

My brothers were recruited back, I cant believe a month went by and I miss them so much already. The journey begins again, and I hope I can survive like last time. Nothin has really been picking up with the battles and wars, but I have a feelin that if they had to recruit the boys back. Somethin is bound to happen and it wont be good. Back to the quiet life, and its super boring because all of this snow, its been pilin up and ive had to stay inside. Rose and Eric may come over to play. A new year has started, 1862! Things need to be changed, there are so many things and its going to be coming up soon that we need to plow the fields to get ready to replant tobacco. Bring in the money now. Its gonna be hard with out slaves but I think we will be able to make it, Poppa said I can take off school to help out because of how low we are on slaves. Yet, my days just wonder in my head, I love the new journal the boys gave me. Ive been writing in it since they have left and its going to start my new year. I hope to get a letter sometime soon.

~Beth

Day 36: Early Christmas December 20, 1861

Christmas is really in 5 days, but the boys are leaving in 6 days. They are coming to recruit them soon so we are gonna spend those last 6 as family time. I cant believe they are going back to soldier camp, they are my heros no matter what side wins. Im so glad to have them here, and that they are able to fight for our country. But we have to live in the moment now, and we decorated our tree, and we are about to open our presents. The boys told me to go first: it was nothing really but the boys got me a new notebook! A new notebook to write down my entries. They also had Poppa hand carve a doll, its was half my size and it looked exactly like me! I love it! I love them! Then I urged them to open up their gifts, ive been workin on them since November. It took so long cuz I had to make 3. They opened them up: its a satchel! Where they can carry everything they need, it had their names on it and everything and I made it from scratch. A long with Momma's help of course. They said that they loved it!

G'ma and Pappa came in to town and it was great seeing them also, they live up in Virginia and them comin down was a huge treat. G'ma knitted us each a scarf and it is so cozy and warm and I just love everything she makes. We are truly blessed.

~Beth

Day 35: Ever Greens December 13, 1861

I woke up this morning to a huge pile of snow in front of my room, it was so cold that I had to go get another blanket. Poppa was in the kitchen drinkin his cup of joe, and he called me over and said that we are gonna go pick out our christmas tree. Arthur is gonna chop it down and we are gonna bring home, the only problem is that the tree farm is pretty far from the house. Poppa also said that AnnaMae's family is comin and so are the Jacksons. This is gonna be a fun day, all bringin back the trees. Momma said because the boys have to leave immediately after Christmas, we are gonna have christmas early so they can relax and pack and such. I know what im gonna get the boys....Its gonna be a good gift and its gonna be something they can take with them when they leave. Time just needs to slow down, and I have a huge feeling next year....the boys are going to battle whether they are ready or not. I just hope they arent killed, the holidays with out Philip is so hard and I cant imagine losing another brother.

~Beth

Day 34: One Holiday Down, One To Go December 4, 1861

The count down begins before they come and recruit my brothers, I dont wanna think about that. Ive been havin so much fun with my brothers, I dont want them to leave! Christmas is coming up, and earlier today we gave all each other the ideas. We are gonna go cut down a tree soon, I love the smell of christmas trees and doing it with my brothers, it will be like the good ole days. I hope when they leave it will only be a couple more months. Today we took the boys to go hang out with the Jacksons. Tyler came home a couple nights ago, he wasnt home for thanksgiving. Tyler said that they had a couple problems with moving the guys in and out of the camp, so his stop was last. But all that matters is that he is home safe and sound now.

~Beth

Day 33: Turkey Day November 26, 1861

Holidays need to slow down! I need time with my brothers! A month isnt enough to spend all the time I need with them. I wish they could stay home forever and be home forever. But all I can think about is all the food on this table, Momma cooked her usual. Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, Corn, Green Beans, Yams, dressing and so much more. Imma be stuffed, and because of the minimal slaves we have, Momma invited Alice and everyone in to join us. There isnt a lot going on in the fields and Poppa said that they deserve a break. I love havin everyone together, my life feels so complete. Everything is perfect and great and the days are just gonna get better!

~Beth

Day 32: I cant believe it November 20, 1861

I havent written in awhile, ive been havin too much fun with Nelson, Owen and Arthur. I love them so much and I miss Philip so much, I wish what happened hadnt happened. But it is what it is. Snow finally fell a good couple of inches and the boys and I went and made snow angels and build snowmen and had snowball fights. I dont want none of this too end! I dont even want to think about them going back in a month, ive forgotten how much fun we have when we are all together. Thanksgiving is coming up fast and Momma and Poppa went out to get the turkey today, cant wait to eat it. Momma is an amazin cook and I eat so much. Ill be good for years....nope probably not. I showed the boys that ive been keeping a journal with everything in it since they left. They are impressed and that they have missed me so much. Nelson went over to his bag and pulled out something....it looked awfully familiar. It was my letter! They received it! Nelson said that he didnt respond because they were lettin them go soon and writing back would be pointless. I just cant believe they are home!

~Beth

Day 31: What is Momma Callin Me For? November 15, 1861

Long ways back to the house, it sure does seem longer in the dark. As im walkin towards the house I see Momma and Poppa standin in the door way, then all of a sudden I see 2 unfamiliar heads, heads that I havent seen in almost 7 months. I thought to myself, this aint my brothers there is suppose to be 4....wait no 3. As im walkin up the house, somethin comes up behind me and grabs my waist and picks me up. I scream! not knowing who and what it is! For the love of goober peas! It was Arthur! In the door way stood Owen and Nelson! I cant believe it! They have come home! They're home for only a couple weeks, a couple weeks as in till after Christmas. Ill take all the time I get, all this time alone after them, Ill take all the moments I have with them and cherish it. I wonder if Peter and Tyler got home to their families. This has been absolutely the best day ever.

~Beth

Day 31: Holidays around the corner November 15, 1861

To say Thanksgiving is only 9 days around the corner, are the boys gonna be able to come home? I sure hope so! I miss them so much and they need to come home. The holidays are so important to us. This would be the first year that they would not be able to spend it with us, and I hope that isnt true. It started to finally snow, not a lot but enough that we could go out and play in it. We started our bomb fires in the middle of the open fields, I love winter I sure wish the boys come home soon. Sittin out here....under the stars.....Oh Momma is callin me! Ill be back to finish this entry.

Day 30: One War At A Time November 9, 1861

Newspapers have been flyin in like crazy, I guess things have been picked up in past couple of weeks. I still havent gotten a response from the boys....I sure do hope nothin gets lost or nothin. Poppa read the paper to me the other day, on November 1 which was 8 days ago. The Union got a new General, General McClellan and Poppa says that hes a strong officer but these confederates have everything under control. Yesterday, an international diplomatic crisis happened, President Lincoln had two confederate officials sailing toward England, but then are captured by the U.S. Navy. England demands their rights to be let go, other wise they will declare war, Lincoln eventually gave in and orders their release in December. "One war at a time" says Lincoln. There is already enough, we dont need more of this nonsense. People dont have brains no more, its crazy how much that people dont have common sense anymore. There was a hidden article that said that some soldiers have made home, right here in South Carolina. Captain Samuel F. Dupont's warships silenced Confederate guns in Fort Walker and Fort Beauregard. This victory enabled General Thomas W. Sherman's troops to occupy first Port Royal and then all the famous Sea Islands of South Carolina, where Timothy H. O'Sullivan recorded them making themselves at home. The soldiers are now staying here, now, in South Carolina. I hope tensions dont bring us to danger.

~Beth

Day 29: A Response October 27, 1861

Its gettin cold outside, Momma had to go dig our the winter clothes. Alice kept me company today, she and I made a fire outside and stood by it to keep the warmth, the nights are becoming colder and colder by the minute. I asked Momma today if I could try and write a response to the boys, I really want them to hear how I feel whenever I get those letters. They sure do make my day, and they need to know that. Yet, Momma said if I write back the letter may not get through or it will take a long time to get through. I say its worth a shot. This is where all my writing gets an advantage, and ill just hope for the best that it dont get lost. I started out:

Dear Boys,

This is my first response, so bare with me. Momma said not to write a response cuz there maybe a possibility that you may not get this letter. But boy, I sure do hope you get this. I want to say so many things in this letter, but I do have a limit so I shall sum it up. I love all those letters you send to me, I look forward to them! They always make my day brighter, I love love love my bracelet you guys gave me for my birthday. It was completely unexpected and I wear it everyday and show it off to everyone. They say im lucky to have brothers like you, and I sure do agree. I love you guys with all my heart! Im glad all of you are ok, after Momma, Poppa and I got that letter that Philip is gone. My world crashed, all I could think about it you guys and how much danger you are in. Im so thankful that you guys are not in any battle, I dont have to worry too much. But I miss you like crazy! I cant wait for the holidays, I cant wait to see you guys and I cant believe I have lived these months with out you. To tell you, the guy you met Tyler Jackson.....they are our neighbors! They moved in and their son Eric is my age and we hang out a lot same with their sister Rose. I say what a coincidence! I hope you get this letter and I cant wait for you to come home!

Beth

Day 28: The Bracelet October 20, 1861

My birthday was 2 days ago, and even though the boys are missin it sure was a pretty good birthday. I turned 12, I cant believe it! One more year till Momma is gonna send me off to learn how to be a proper women....I dont know how I feel bout that. Momma decided to surprise me and instead of makin her cherry pie, she made her apple crumble pie and boy I wasnt expectin that! It was so good! Eric, Rose and AnnaMae even said it was good. Momma is a great cook and no one can beat her cooking. I was outside today, and I saw someone walk up to our house...It looked like Tom our mailman! It must be a letter! A letter from the boys! The letter was kinda heavy, what could be in here?

Dear Beth,

Happy Birthday lil Sis! We love you and we're so sorry we couldnt have been there for your 12th birthday, but knowin you, you probably had a great day. We couldnt spare a lot for a gift, but the boys and I got a little crafty and we found some fabric left over from makin the uniforms and some of it is from Philip's uniform. We were able to braid it in a bracelet, we learned from a friend of ours how to braid. Took a couple of hours to figure out, man sure buddy im glad im not a girl. I coulnt braid to save my life, but its just a little something we thought you would enjoy. We miss you so very much, and as of the looks right now we are comin home for the holidays. Cross your fingers that nothin happens soon, love you Momma and Poppa. We miss you all, and we really wish you guys could send replies but we know its hard and that we would most likely not get them.

Love You All, Happy Birthday Beth!

Nelson

The bracelet....imma wear it forever now, I love it! Its mine forever, and my days has just gotten better. I love my brothers and imma get them somethin very special for them for the holidays. Momma is gonna have to help me, but its gonna be somethin amazin I tell ya. Amazin!

~Beth

Day 27: Tyler Jackson October 14, 1861

Rose came runnin over this afternoon, she was out of breath and she held up a letter to me. Her Momma said it was from Tyler and that Rose wanted me to read it to her. This is the first letter they have received yet, so Rose was very excited to hear from her brother. Eric has been sick, so I just read the letter to Rose and she would go over and tell Eric later. The letter read:

A letter! A letter to say, my first ever! I aint writen this clearly, so if its hard to read im sorry. My friend Nelson over here is helpin me write this, but anyway. I heard that yall moved since ive been gone, so I hope this letter gets to you. Im sure it will cuz this is a small town where everyone knows everyone, even the mail man. I sure do miss home, I dont know what happened but I guess ill find out when I come home. General says we may be able to be released for the holidays, and I sure do miss you Rose and Eric. Momma and Poppa I miss you too, ill be home as soon as I can and to tell you that I am very safe. Ive met some pretty cool people in the camp, but everythin is calm right now. Love you all

Ty

Aint that amazin! My brothers helpin their friend when he doesnt even know that we are neighbors. When I read that letter to Rose, her face lit up like the sun! It sure did make my day, now she has the feeling that I have every time a I get a letter from the boys. I hope Eric feels the same way, Rose says that she wants her brother home soon! As so do I.

~Beth

Day 26: The Wait is Killing Me October 6, 1861

Everything seems to be out of place lately, the suspense of the boys is killing me! Are they going to be able to come home? Will things be back to normal? This will be the first holiday that we have a missin family member. I got some good news though, Momma says that Grandma and Papa are comin for thanksgivin, im so excited. I havent seen them in awhile and we hardly ever get to see each other. To think....my wish....to say that the boys came home and that we had an amazin holiday with everyone there. Philip is in our prayers, I miss him so much. Everythin seems to be quiet as of right now, nothing major has been happening with the war. Soldier camp I bet has been borin for the boys, they probably have nothin todo except for train and train 24/7. No has really called for them, and I hope no one does.

My birthday is comin up! October 18, its in 12 days and I hope Momma is gonna make me a pie! Mmmmm how good that sounds right now, and I wanna bring Eric, AnnaMae, and Rose over so they can enjoy it too. Ill be 12, and I hope ill get a letter from the boys wishin me happy birthday. That would be the best birthday present ever! Alice says she has a special gift for me, I cant wait. Even though the boys aint here, it will be a great birthday. But to say, I wish the holidays will come sooner.

~Beth

Day 25: Will The Book Ever End? September 28, 1861

The chapters in my life keep to keep turning, everything is changing literally everything. Ive been sick the past couple of days and Momma has had to keep me inside, I think the cold is gettin to me, but I better get better soon. Cant afford to get sick, life has been really lade back nothin has been really stirred up. Except, there has probably been a lot happenin in Washington D.C. As far we know there is still a blockade in the south and nothing has really happened. It took charge though that it showed the south owned some forts off the shore of South Carolina. They were gonna stay put just incase the North decided to come for revenge in a surprise attack.

Poppa came back and said that there have been some more battles going around, there was on in Kentucky and it was called the Barbourville Civil War. This took place in Kentucky and it was told that this was Kentucky's first encounter of the Civil war. The Confederates destroyed the training camp and seized arms found there. Poppa said that each state is encountering many little battles to stir up the huge war. Im really hoping people will get some common sense and wont stir this mess up. We dont need another mess to clean up, and we sure dont need another war. I think they have put enough stress on this country and now stirring up trouble in every state? is that really called for?

~Beth

Day 24: Peace Once Again September 15, 1861

I feel like everything is at peace now, knowing that my brothers are somewhat safe and that they were not part of those lives lost. Also knowing that my brothers may be able to come home for the holidays, and that even though will have to go back. I look forward to every moment I get to spend with them. Eric, Rose, AnnaMae and I have been comin really close lately. We have been hanging out a lot and Eric and Rose finally got enrolled in school. Same school that I go to so we get to walk together to and back from school. Our friendship has really grown and all of us are in the same situations with our brothers. Everything will turn out good, we are in good hands and we are fighting for what we believe in. For once I feel comfortable, and back to my normal self with out worrying about the boys. I know that they will be home soon and that they will come home all in one piece. We just have to keep praying and hoping that everything will be ok and not worry about that stupid ole war. What happens, happens all of us are lucky to be surrounded by people we love and the people we love are fighting for us.

~Beth

Day 23: Letter # 4 September 5, 1861

Comin home from school, I went to go check the mail. Momma was sittin out on the porch and handed me an envelope, it was addressed to me! I got my hopes up, I think....I know it has to be from the boys! I tore it open, Momma stood over me as I opened it. It was from the boys! I had the biggest smile ever on my face. The letter read:

Dear Family,

Sorry its been so long since we have last sent a letter, everything has been tight and there has been no time to write out a letter. We ended having to be recruited to fight in Battle of Bull Run, thankfully they didnt need us so we didnt have to fight. We were in Kansas for the longest time and now we are back to campus. Everything is about the same, General Mowell has been sayin that hopefully nothin will stir up before January of next year and they will let us go home for the holidays. But we may have to come back just in case they need us, other than that we may be home for the holidays. I hope all is doing well, Owen and Arthur are doing great but you can tell they want to come home. We have met many new guys, that includes a guy name Tyler Jackson. He said that he cant write but he really wants to write a letter to his family but he cant. We have also seen AnnaMae's brother Peter around sometimes, but he thinks he too tough for us so we dont really talk to him. Love you all

Nelson

Oh wow! Little did the boys know they met our new neighbor and I have to go tell Eric and Rose that their brother may write them a letter. They will be so excited to hear that from me, and to hear from Tyler. BE HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS! is this a joke? I cant wait till December now! I want to see them so badly! I hope nothing bad goes wrong to where they cant come home. This has been the best letter yet!!

~Beth

Day 22: Change of Seasons August 31, 1861

Its safe to say that fall is officially approaching and I can feel the change is temperature changing day by day. I love fall, its my favorite time of the year, and even though in the fields we dont have too many trees, I love makin them leave piles and jumping into them. Philip would always rake the leave up, and be the one to start the leave fights, I dont think anything will ever be the same with out him. Im hopin that maybe they can come home for the holidays, cuz they are around the corner. These months have been passin by so fast. I havent gotten a letter in a while from Nelson, and I hope I get one soon its been over a month. Hopefully the new weather and fall will cheer everyone up a little, and take their minds off the war. When it starts snowing, we bring out those sleds and have a blast. We need some happy things right now.

~Beth

Day 21: Poppa? August 23, 1861

First things first, my family and I woke up too a banging on the door, Poppa rushed down stairs to see what was going on. It was Mr. Jackson he said it was an emergency and that Poppa needed to come quickly. Mr. Jackson handed a piece of paper to Poppa, I couldnt see what it was I think its bad news. I hate this! I really do, everything is twisting and turning and I dont like it anymore im tired of it. For the love of tomatoes, can everything just go back to the way it was. Does President Lincoln not realize what is happening here, how much trouble and stress is put on each family individually. Everything is craving in, everything is getting worse, there seems to never be good news anymore these days.

Poppa came inside and went to go talk to Momma, there was a worried look on his face and I really need to know what is going on. What was Mr. Jackson talking bout? why was he holding that paper? All my questions were answered when Poppa came back down stairs, he said that sometime back in July after the Battle of Bull run that there is a blockade forming, it was a blockade of the south. I dont understand how that is a bad thing, its a good thing that means the south as an advantage. Poppa said no, we are tryin to end this war, not continue it and the war does not need to be taken out to the sea. There are rumors that this blockade will take place right here, near South Carolina. Which can mean we are in bigger trouble. Uh oh!

~Beth

Day 20: Alice August 17, 1861

Alice is one our slaves, but shes like a second mother to me she helps me with everything! Cleaning, cooking, etc and I love her dearly. Alice is a very wise women and has seen so many things in her life and she always has said that a day with me, is like she is a free women. She said she dont see me as a thing she has to do, she does it cuz she loves me and Momma and Poppa love her too. She aint no slave to me, she is part of this family. Poppa is a night owner to our "slaves" and really I know everyone and they are just an extended family to me. Momma says I shouldnt always talk to them because they need to do their work, but they inspire me so much. Poppa aint like those other land owners who own slaves and beat them. Once they do their work, they are free to do whatever they want.

Alice's story starts somethin off like this, she just turned 25 when men our color came and captured her. She didnt know where they were taking her, but she hoped to a good place, although she said those boats they loaded her on where not very clean. There were many people her color on that boat, they all looked depressed and not only sad and depressed but all chained up. She wasnt though for some reason, I guess they figured she wouldnt run away. Poppa was looking for a house maid and for someone to watch over me and Owen cuz we were only 6 and 10. Poppa went to where they sold slaves, and he saw Alice and bought her for 1500 pieces of silver. I think its the best expense Poppa has ever bought, I love Alice and I hope they dont take her. Alice thinks this war is stupid, and she said if this war ends where the south is gonna have to give up them slaves, she's gonna stay. I hope thats the truth.

~Beth

Day 19: Finally a Letter...August 12, 1861

Its been a couple of weeks since I heard from the boys, I hope their doing alright. Im sure something has been happenin and hopefully later today there were will be mail. AnnaMae came running up to me today, she got a letter from Peter, first letter since he left! AnnaMae aint the best reader, so I read it to her. It was a pretty happy letter, I could tell it made AnnaMae's day just like the letters from my brothers make my day. AnnaMae's family could now finally breathe a little, and know that their son/brother is in good condition and most importantly alive! AnneMae and I decided to sneak out to the cow fields, even though Momma said not to go out there. We couldnt help ourselves, we just love it out there and we can think. Momma came out to us and surprisingly sat right next to us, and laid down with us. Momma was never afraid to speak her mind, thats probably where I get me talkin a lot from. Momma said that she misses the boys dearly, and she knows that God has his hands in a good place and God has a plan and she knows he will bring those boys home safe and sound. I hope Momma is right.

~Beth

Day 18: New Friendships August 4, 1861

I woke up this mornin to find Mrs. Jackson outside of the house planting and I went over to offer some of my handy help. I nothin better to do, she appreciates the help because of her age its hard for her to get on the ground. I learned somethin new today, Eric came out of the house and climbed this huge tree! He taught me how to climb a tree, Momma wasnt happy bout me learnin how cuz it aint lady like. But I liked the feel of it, feeling all tall and up off the ground. It was my escape place and I loved it. Eric is a pretty cool kid, he knows a lot bout animals and nature everyday is a new adventure. I introduced Eric and Rose to AnnaMae, and now we all hang out when we get a chance. I think this has kindled a new friendship! I really need this, I love my brothers a lot but my new friends can keep my mind off of them for a bit...that wont hurt anythin! right?

Eric was tellin me about the morning when they came to take Tyler, he described it as a nightmare! It was night time and they came knockin on the door and asked for anyone through the ages of 14-19 to come with them. They told his Ma that they may never see him again, and to say their good byes. I asked him if Tyler ever wrote letters? and he said no, he never really liked writing so he chose not worry about that subject. Poor Jackson's dont even know whats going on with their own son, I dont know how they do it. Hearing from my brothers makes my day so much better. This war needs to take a turn for the better, I pray everyday that my brothers will turn home safely.

~Beth

Day 17: Start Something New July 30, 1861

Everythin is changin around us, everyday when I wake up somethin in new and there is new news out everyday. All this chaos is driving a lot of people down and as always there has to be a good side of this outcome. Momma and I went over to meet the new neighbors yesterday, we brought them my Momma's best pie...cherry! mmmm! best pie I have ever tasted in my life and its a treat, Momma only makes it for special occasions. We met the Jackson's they have a son my age! his name is Eric. He's a handsom fella and maybe we can become close and hang out. Mrs. Jackson said he's only 2 months older than me and we would become good friends. Mrs. Jackson also has a daughter and an older son. She said that they are in the same situation that we are in, her son was taken from them and that he is in a soldier camp. I wonder if the boys know him, his name is Tyler and Eric's younger sister is name Rose. What a loving family! I can tell we're gonna get a long just fine, we have so many things in common too. Mr. Jackson said that their house burned down, they forgot to turn off the stove when they went to town and their house burned to the ground. The house next door was the only house that we could move into right away, its a little smaller than their other house but it will suit them just fine.

This is bright side of things, and many things are hopefully going to change for the good. I hope the boys can come home soon, they've been missin out on so much. Poppa also told me that General McDowell was replaced, Lincoln said that the war need organization and training and General McDowell was a threat so Lincoln replaced him. Who will be the new General for this war, after all McDowell got the south a win, but the North will be coming back for revenge.

~Beth

Day 16: Battle of Bull Run July 23, 1861

Everyone is out of their minds! Chaos I tell you! Poppa brought home a news paper...ive never heard of those things before. Poppa said that its a paper that holds good things and bad things, and things happen all around us. A battle happened! The front cover...it said "Battle of Bull Run" it take place in Manassas Junction, Virginia! General McDowell attacked only 2 days and was successful. Its the first major conflict of this war and its only just begun! A army of 28,000 men was directed to crush the rebellion in the South, march towards Richmond (which i believe is in Virginia) while marching they met the confederate forces coming north of Manassas which was a southern base. The battle lasted five hours and sooner or later the Confederates surrendered and headed back up north. Except General Jackson stayed back with his men and now General Jackson is known as Stonewall Jackson because he held up so well in the battle. They were able to hold out until General Johnston showed up with 9000 reinforcements to help out the battle. The arrival changed everything and soon the Union Soldiers were fleeing back to Washington. Beauregaurd's army was so disorganized that they could not pursue McDowell any further. The battle proved that this war was not gonna go as planned. The battle news spread all around the south the victory they won, and are now egging on the North for revenge!

I hope the boys werent in this battle and that we dont get another letter. It said that in McDowell's army (which is the south) there was 2,900 people killed, wounded, captured, or missing. The war is on now, and now im scared for my life.

~Beth

Day 15: Turning the Page July 17, 1861

Its been a week and the boys havent showed up, I guess Poppa was wrong, I got my hopes up for nothin. Thats probably why I shouldnt have listened in, I knew something was gonna happen but I was hopin for the best. Seein my brothers right now would mean the world to me and now its not gonna come true! Somethin needs to change! Im tired of this! This mess and everything being taken from us, our slaves, now be able to rome my own home land no more! its sad to what has been brought to us. Momma said things are just gonna get worse now. There is one upside, we are gettin a new neighbor! They moved in yesterday and im really eager to go meet them! Maybe they have a kid my age I can play with. AnnaMae lives about 3 houses down, but this is just a walk across the fields and Momma can watch me go over there. Momma said we have to wait and we can make them a pie or something and go great them properly. Hopefully something will happen, for the better but we can only pray and home.

~Beth

Day 14: Coming Home? July 10, 1861

Poppa came runnin home today, he ran right to Momma I stood behind the door listenin in even though I shouldnt. I over heard that they may be sendin the soldiers home, Poppa said dont get your hopes up but the boys may be comin home! All that went through my head was that they would FINALLY be home! I wont have to worry no more and I would get to see them for the first time in 4 months! I hope this is true! Poppa told Momma to prepare just in case they showed up, they could even come back in a few days. This has to be true, no one passes rumors around about stuff like that. Why get your hopes up? this cant be a joke, right?

Owen's birthday was 5 days ago, he turned 15! The youngest of them all, growin up and becomin a proper young man. This war may change him. Hopefully he wont change, I hope neither of the other boys. Things have definitely turned a page, nothin can get any better! I have to go tell AnnaMae! shes gonna be just as excited as me! Maybe her brother will come home just like mine can, and everything will go back to the way it was. Finally that government and president of our is makin common sense. No need to put anyone else in danger than we need to!

~Beth

Day 13: Independence Day July 4, 1861

Today marks the day the United States won our independence from Great Britain, i've been learnin about that in school. It happened with the revolutionary war and after many long battles and many lives lost we finally got them brits to surrender and send them back home! I hope this war dont turn out like the revolutionary war, I dont wanna loose my brothers they mean too much too me! I wish I could do more, I wanna go and help them, fight the north, give them a piece of my mind! I told momma that and she looked at me with a funny face, she said Beth Anne dont be thinkin like that, they dont let young ladies into them battles you wont have luck. The boys will be just fine, you can count on them cant ya? I suppose she's write.

Poppa is back up to health, hes been trying to fix the tobacco fields and get ready to turn the soil so the soil is ready in the spring. Its been hard with out them slaves in the back helpin us, we still have some but we will hopefully get them back when this war is finally over. To be honest I dont even think its even started! Who knows why they are keepin the boys for so long, im sure theyre sick of being in that camp! I sure do miss them! Owen's birthday is tomorrow, why does he have to be gone? This is my first year I havent been with them for their birthdays. This house sure is empty, but things are gettin a little better.

~Beth

Day 12: A Letter to Remember June 27, 1861

I came home from school today, there was a letter on the table! It was addressed to me, I was hoping its from the boys. I opened the letter...it was from Owen?

Der Fam,

Nel dont feel like writen this letter so i took a shot at it. So ecuse the grammer. Alot has ben happin around here! We ben in trainin camp for so long, I think im ready to pack it all up and head home. Somethin been going on down here in the south. It aint turnin out very pretty! It may turn into a battle if we aint careful! That means we will be off to battle. Please keep us in your thoughts, I know we are. Us boys havent ben the same since Philip passed on, we miss him dearly. We neervous about this so called battle. Hopefully it wont happen, but we shall see. Anothr, the government needs to put thier money where their mouth is, we have terible food! we might as well starve! Nel and Arthur say hello, kises to everyone and hugs. Keep us in your prayers, we will be safe, dont worry no more than ya need too.

Owen

It was weird to get a letter written from Owen, cuz writing aint his good subject, so how goodhe wrote that letter was good. I miss them so much! I hope that battle aint gonna come true, they're too young to go to battle. Already one gone, we dont need another! I agree that they need better food, poor Philip wouldnt have passed on if they had better food. Life is rough right now and i'm hopin things get better as soon as they can.

~Beth

Day 11: Birthdays! June 20, 1861

Today is Nelson's birthday! He is turing 16! I wish I could have given him a hug and kiss this morning. I miss him so much! I miss Arthur and Owen too and Philip! I'm hoping we can hear from them soon, I wish I could write back. But when they get home imma show them all these entries I made so they could see how much I love them and I counted down them days. Pappa got to feelin better, he is outta bed and movin around. Not able to do much labor but he can do some stuff, Momma said he needs to nursed back to health completely before he does anything else. Today I didnt feel like doin anythin, but Alice took me out to the cow stables and taught me how we get our milk! I thought it was pretty fascinating! I drank some right when it was put into the pail, OH BOY that good!

It was made an announcement that residents of the western counties of Virginia did not wish to continue to be part of Virginia. Now we have a new state! Its name is West Virginia....how original! Thats cool that we have another state! Hopefully a letter will come soon from the boys, Owen's birth is comin up too! His is July 5th! he'll be 15! woohoo! I miss them dearly!

~Beth