Day 50: Just A Little Longer May 8, 1862

A wait....thats all that is needed. The last hurtful wait, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, month by month. When is the time for the boys to come home? There needs to be a new group of people, but these 3 guys coming home in a month or two are my heros. No one can ever replace them, and I hope when im older I raise boys just like my Momma did. I can stay strong, and when I see them...im gonna run for miles into their arms. I dont ever want to feel this pain again, the pain of worry, sadness, nervous, anxious and so many more. I miss Philip, but he is in a better place. Yet, I know that if he was still alive he would be just as brave as the other boys. It has been a year since the boys have left, for the first time. Didnt know where they were going, didnt know if they were alright. But now I know, now I know that they are ok and they are doing what is best for their country. I love them so much.

Im running out of room from this journal, I have filled up the journal the boys got me for christmas. So for now, I am going to stop writing and count down to the days till they come home. I hope nothing else goes wrong, and they are able to come home as soon as possible. Eric and Rose are gonna come home later, we are gonna go play and Momma said we can go out in the cow fields. I can think, and the rest of the day is going to be great, and to say the crops are doing great. Poppa finally taught me how to plant the tobacco seeds and such, I think its pretty dang cool but I only got to do it this once. In a couple of months Momma and Poppa are gonna send me off to school to be a proper women. That means when the boys come home, I can only see them for a couple of months. Yet, if this war keeps up Momma says she aint gonna send me, I hope I dont have to go I need to stay home.

The page is filling up, so I have to write my conclusion to this head of adventure and torturous journey. I hope for the best in the next couple of days or years. I will put this in the box where I keep all the letters from the boys, and hopefully one day I will pull this out and it will remind me of how thankful I am and how lucky I am.

~Beth